Kim? Kanye? F**kme?

It seems Desmond « call me Ye » Gumby (aka Mr K. West esq) has finally bust a bloodvessel and after accusing everyone, but not of course himself, of just about every world ill, has checked himself into a hospital – « cos he’s fucking nuts » as a source close to the « star » recently said. It appears he has apologised to his wife, children, Donald Duck etc. for being such a prize wanker – what this will change? Heaven only knows.

His wife, former sex-tape star Kim « brain dead » Kardashian has recently been accused of bursting into tears. No one actually knows why, but as everything she does is examined at microscopic level by the tabloid press, we will no doubt soon learn the real reason. It could be that she’s pissed that she’ll never be « First Lady » after her husbands failed attempt to stand for President of the United States. (A spokesperson commented « Not that she actually knows ANYTHING about being a lady anyway… »)

The REAL question on the tip of my tongue is…do we actually care?

Answer – not a lot.

Her only claim to fame, aside from an arse the size of Canterbury, is that she has bought a series of children (poor sods) – but is this news, you ask? (In case you wondered, the correct answer is « No »)

Well apparently to some bottom feeders, like this particular family, who basically share a single brain cell, this IS news, and we should all have this forced down our throats at every opportunity.

Personally I prefer peanut butter