I need a job….

Ivanka Trump, 39, secondhand, own teeth

If you didn’t recognise her, or thought she might have been modeling tooth brushes, this is Ivanka Trump, the nearly past-Presidents daughter.

She’s not actually known for much more than being an attention-seeking bitch, but as she’ll soon be looking for a job, I’m warning LeClerc and Carrefour – don’t hire her – she’s toxic.

Remember – she’s the one back in July who suggested that people out-of-work should « Find Something Else » – well there you go darlin’ – time you looked for a real job no?

Oh, and if you do catch her filling shelves in Castorama, please let me know – I’d love to go and take a picture…

Season Two

Yes, the first season was so successful that they’ve decided to have a second one…

This is what I’ll be doing (within a mile of my house and for an hour per day, yes , yes we heard you)

Lockdown news, as it happens…watch this space…

Does it all really matter?

Hello again – we’re currently in our second week of our second season of lockdown, or ‘confinement’ as it’s called here in France. It’s not as restrictive as the first ‘season’ in that people who simply cannot work from home, are allowed to go into work.

We had a monster server crash at work, and so the past few weeks have been unusually busy for me, as in addition to a new server, we changed all of our computers – for the first ime since I took over control of the IT here, we all have machines using the latest operating systems.

Nikon have been busy too – a few of the previously announced lenses have finally begun to arrive on dealers shelves, and the ‘what’s next’ guessing-game was interuppted with the announce of the Z6ll and Z7ll mirroless camera updates. The bodies are essentially the same, with the addition of a second card slot and various software tweaks. Possibly the only really usefull addition was the new battery grip which is a real one this time, with buttons etc.

Nikon Z7 at left, Z7ll at right

Going back to the title of this article, « Does it all really matter » – does it? Will it make me a better photographer if I buy an updated camera body?

Er….no – oh sure, there are certain features which make the experience possibly more comfortable – a second card slot for the 5% of people who saw this as a HUGE ommision, a one-stop increase low-light focus performance…

For me , the most useful new addition is the new battery grip, the NB-N11 – however, while we thought the existing ‘battery box’ the NB-N10 was expensive at 199€, adding a thumb wheel and a couple of buttons has increased the price by 200€ to 399€ – yeah right on Nikon!

I realise that their financials are not exactly wonderful at the moment, and they’re not selling as many mirrorless as they had predicted, but if they think they will increase their market hold with overpriced accessories…

Don’t these people EVER do market research?

What is that smell?

In the open-ended list of nasty smells, the first one is mice shit. This is at the top, doesn’t smell too bad, but it ain’t roses either.

Going down the list from the top, things start getting worse…

At 5 there’s dog shit on the sole of your shoe…

At 37 there’s Donald Trump…

And somewhere in between the last two is Piers Morgan.

Morgan used to be a journalist, but now he’s become nothing short of the Daily Mails go-to superstar who intervenes trying to give some credibility to the worthless junk pedaled by the Mail. Doesn’t really work – most people who understand verbs can shoot holes in pretty much all of the rubbish he writes, but it can be mildly entertaining – emphasis on the « mildly »

He’s been busy slagging off the Donald recently – a thankless affair as despite all the criticisms, fact-checking etc. the man just won’t go away. But it does provide a relief from stories about Kim and her enormous arse, or Madonna and her saggy tits. But it smells.

This man has been photographed interviewing Trump, shaking hands with Trump, God knows what else with Trump…and I can’t help thinking it’s just another way for the Donald to get his name in print…

It’s fairly clear after the last 3 years or so, that’s all he’s really in this for, sadly.

« F**k the US, what’s in it for me » says Donald/Piers etc.

Strange happenings, stranger people

This person is Helen Degenerate – and he/she/it is a thoroughly nice person, really. He or should I say ‘she’ dresses up in mens clothing and has a television show in the United States. He/she/it considers him/herself/itself a comedien.

He/she/it is a classic know-it-all, been there, done that cross-dressing straight/gay person, and as such, by all accounts, is pretty full of him/her/itself.

« By all accounts » comes from a dozen or so people who have worked for this « person », and don’t consider him/her/it either very funny, nor, and this is more important, to actually ‘like’ or appreciate anyone other than he/she/itself. Infact of course this doesn’t really matter – who cares if he/she/it is a right real PITA – aside from the people who work for him/her/it!!

During the confinement in the US, he/her/it laid off a number of the technical staff who work on the famous « show » – and then decided to do the show from his/her/it’s house with a whole new crew! Not unnaturally, the original crew who were now unemployed were, how can I put this, justifiably pissed?

Well, let’s face it, when you think you’re a God, better act like one…

VERY Frightening

Simple excercise in mathematics;-

Multiply 60 (minutes) by 24 (hours) and you get 1440 (minutes in a day)

Yesterday, 29 July 2020 there were 1500 deaths attibuted to the COVID-19 virus in the United States.

This is more than one death for every single minute of the day.

Wake up you idiots – this is NOT going away quote ‘magically’ unquote Donald Trump, when the weather gets warmer.

Not wearing masks and not respecting social distancing DOES NOT make it go away.

Believing Doctors selling snake oïl remedies ‘made from alien DNA’ DOES NOT make it go away either.

Do SOMETHING for Christs sake – and fast, or worrying about the state of the economy will be the least of your concerns – there won’t be enough people left to RUN the economy.

Get rid of the orange haired baboon – he’s the one who needs a government health warning…

Mistaken Identity

This man, Reginald Stonk, 34 Thurberry Mews, South Shields, maintains that he is prettier than the the one-time singer Madonna – what do you think?

Heavy Lifting

Airbus A400

We’re just getting reports that Kim Kardashians arse has just been flown back to California from Wyoming.

Sadly, reports suggest that the rest of her body was still attached to it…

More on this as this story develops.

Medicines made from alien DNA?

Donald Duck, sorry, Trump

In my opinion, this man is an idiot. More so, a very dangerous idiot. He is followed and « appreciated » by a huge number of fellow idiots who seem to believe everything he says.

The latest bullshit, sorry, facts are these: a group of American doctors have published a video saying, essentially, that protective face masks don’t have to be worn and that the drug hydroxychloroquine is a cure for the corona virus, all this against established wisdom.

Obviously the Donald goes along with this, and simply cannot understand why people are doubting the words of Dr Stella Immanuel who is known for her statements regarding the « cure » for the Covid-19 and the fact that some medicines are made from alien DNA…

The White House correspondent for CNN Kaitlan Collins disagreed with Trump and commented “The woman that you said was a ‘great doctor’ in that video that you retweeted last night said that masks don’t work and there is a cure for Covid-19, both of which health experts say is not true.”

“She’s also made videos saying that doctors make medicine using DNA from aliens and that they’re trying to create a vaccine to make you immune from becoming religious.”

The Daily Beast further commented “She has often claimed that gynecological problems like cysts and endometriosis are in fact caused by people having sex in their dreams with demons and witches. She alleges alien DNA is currently used in medical treatments, and that scientists are cooking up a vaccine to prevent people from being religious, »

Quick – get Kanye West sworn in as President- he can’t possibly be any worse…can he?

UPDATE – as if we needed any more proof that the world has gone apeshit, MADONNA (aka « I’m really ugly but just look at my tits ») has now chimed in with an Instagram post praising the ‘Alien DNA’ doctor, Stella Immanuel.

So I guess it must be true……

Kim? Kanye? F**kme?

It seems Desmond « call me Ye » Gumby (aka Mr K. West esq) has finally bust a bloodvessel and after accusing everyone, but not of course himself, of just about every world ill, has checked himself into a hospital – « cos he’s fucking nuts » as a source close to the « star » recently said. It appears he has apologised to his wife, children, Donald Duck etc. for being such a prize wanker – what this will change? Heaven only knows.

His wife, former sex-tape star Kim « brain dead » Kardashian has recently been accused of bursting into tears. No one actually knows why, but as everything she does is examined at microscopic level by the tabloid press, we will no doubt soon learn the real reason. It could be that she’s pissed that she’ll never be « First Lady » after her husbands failed attempt to stand for President of the United States. (A spokesperson commented « Not that she actually knows ANYTHING about being a lady anyway… »)

The REAL question on the tip of my tongue is…do we actually care?

Answer – not a lot.

Her only claim to fame, aside from an arse the size of Canterbury, is that she has bought a series of children (poor sods) – but is this news, you ask? (In case you wondered, the correct answer is « No »)

Well apparently to some bottom feeders, like this particular family, who basically share a single brain cell, this IS news, and we should all have this forced down our throats at every opportunity.

Personally I prefer peanut butter