Newspaper – what’s that?

I think we are going to have to redefine this word – I mean, they do still exist, even in paper/print form, but some of the « title’s » have lost so much credibility.

Take this one for example.

This used to be called a newspaper – now it’s referred to as a ‘tabloid‘ (a bit like celluloid, but used to cover tables, litter trays, the bottom of bird cages etc.)

Newspapers used to employ journalists who went around collecting news and then writing about it for the general public to read, and so inform themselves of what was happening around them.

Tabloids like the Daily Mail don’t have to employ real journalists as they have a staff of writers, with very active imaginations, who either invent things for their readers, or ‘interpret’ photographs with funny captions to amuse everyone.

An example of an image, and the caption obviously written by someone high on magic mushrooms:

« Jolly holiday! Never-before-seen photos capture the Royal Family being greeted by crowds in Scotland in the 1950s (and reveal the Queen Mother’s close bond with her grandson Prince Charles) »

I couldn’t invent this if I tried! If you’re really lucky you also get a thing called a « Katie Hopkins » a sort of failed Big Brother candidate who has an opinion on everything, but mostly what people couldn’t care a less about. Even after a lobotomy operation earlier this year it still goes on and on and on about, well, pretty much anything and everything – I can’t help thinking it would make a wonderful Queen or Prime Minister or road sweeper. Sadly the ‘off’ button has yet to be found – but it’s amusing I suppose in small doses.

If you have an imagination, shout a lot and can use a keyboard, I strongly suggest trying to get work with a journal such as this – after all, no spelling or punctuation skills needed, just make up all sorts of guff and get it published. Can’t think why I didn’t think of this myself…